Breaija or as I like to call her my baby suga mama! She likes to try and be a big girl, she'll be sitting down somewhere and will damn near break her neck trying to sit all the way up - the struggle is real in the that one because she really wants to not only sit up like she's able to do so but she will try to pull on her shirt to get out of her swing, her car seat, even her bed! She's mastered the art of yelling now too, so when she's lonely, she talks to herself (quietly at first), then she yelaks - yell talks - probably thinking to herself the whole time, "I know somebody hears me!" Then she'll wanna talk at the wrong time...I breastfeed, so while she has the boob, in her mouth, this chick will start engaging in conversation with me all to, two seconds later, get mad at me. Not because I'm not talking to her but because she is no longer getting any boob milk!
Which brings me to diaper changing time or as Breaija would lie to make it, peek-a-boo! Her little game of legs down, legs up, where she will literally get her laugh on as her dad attempts to change her butt...He'll go to unstrap the diaper - legs down, then he'll attempt to pull the diaper down to wipe her butt - legs up and that will go on for the entire three minutes it takes to change her butt, all the while she is smiling and laughing at him. Don't let her yawn because within that moment Barack Obama has just sent the troops to war and they lost. She flips out! I guess it's because of all the wind that she swallows or something and then she'll have the nerve to look at us like, "How dare you make me yawn!" Or my baby suga will fight herself and if not herself, then she'll fight her stuffed bear. little boo-boo and when we go to check on her she'll have little boo-boo in a chock hold with the covers pulled over both their heads, can you say DANGEROUS? Better yet CRAZY! But you gotta love that girl, especially when she smiles at you, looking like some little baby doll.
Next there's Alijah a.k.a fat dude, a.k.a little A.R and here lately we've been addressing him as "girly dude!" This little boy is so smart - so smart that it's funny just listening and watching him. He will mimic everything, the first time he mimicked me cursing, it blew my mind, cause it came from outta nowhere. I do this thing where I start singing the clean up song, "clean up, clean up, everybody clean up," well this time I decided to say, "everybody clean the fuck up," at the end of the song and Alijah, who was only one at the time, repeated me and it started out so cute...Then out of nowhere this dude says, "bean the fuck up!" Mind you back then bean was how he said clean but when he said, "bean the fuck up," It came out all demonic and weird that I just couldn't stop laughing. All the while he was looking at me like, yay I just did something good, that made mom laugh and his dad was looking at him like no! What? Where did that come from?
The first time he used the big toilet was so funny because, this little boy would act as if the toilet was going to come alive and eat him. He was good when we sat him on it but as soon as we let go...This dude went from smiling, with security and comfort, to stop the presses, hold up - wait a minute, what happen to your hands? His eyes got so big and then he began to panic, probably thinking, "Oh my Lord, their feeding me to this thing, what do I do? How do I get off?" Next thing I know, this little boy starts trying to get up and ends up falling in! Can you say Terrified? He started screaming and looking around for help as if he was two seconds away from the end of his life. When I got him out, he was shacking, his booty was dripping wet and he had this look about that said, "Where the hell have you been mom? I almost did't make it!" From then on, whenever we'd put him on the toilet, he screamed murder, murder she wrote.
We call him fat dude cause this little n-word, can eat! I would fix him his plate and I swear you would hear a countdown in his head...3.2.1 attack! And he would. One night, I made spaghetti and then gave him a piece of bread and a cup of milk. This guy fucked up that spaghetti so tough, that when it was gone he must have licked the bowl to get all the excess sauce, swallowed that piece of bread and I honestly think that milk evaporated! That's how fast he drank it. When he was finished, he busted up in my room, spaghetti sauce all on his forehead, spaghetti noodles, with bits of meat on them, hanging off his chin, bread crumbs on his fingers, which were covered in spaghetti sauce too and a milk mustache, talking bout, "I'm done eating my food mom!" My only thought was...Well, at least I know he likes spaghetti!
He loves his sisters but he's not one to let them bully him. My five year old Jhayanna would always mess with him when they'd play, she would snatch shit from him and push him off the bed and tell him no whenever he'd go to do something. I guess he had been keeping track to all the shit she would do to him cause, one day she went to grab his blocks from him and all we heard was, "NO!" In this little baby voice, a loud knock, followed by a, "Ouch lijah, don't hit me with that - that hurt." I ran up, to see what happen and Jhayanna was holding her forehead telling me Alijah had just hit her in the head, with his block. Of course Alijah got yelled at for hitting on her because, she is a girl and boys don't hit girls, which crushed his little spirit but I told Jhayanna, that's what she gets for fucking with him...He was getting older and he was going to start returning the favor of being mean.
He is now in this girly stage of his life, where he wants to either cry about everything, say okay all the damn time, say yes for and to every damn thing or say some crap about he's not or as he would say, "I'm not!" Now, him saying yes to everything or I'm not, isn't so bad because, well...Who cares? For example, we'll say, "Alijah, do you wanna eat some boo-boo?" Just playing with him and he'll say yes mom-dad or I'm not and then look all evil or his version of evil cause, he's handsome as all get out. But that crying b.s and that okay shit, is why he's earned the name "girly dude." This girly n-word will start crying cause he has to use the bathroom, which is crazy, seeing as how he is now fully potty trained and isn't afraid of the toilet anymore. He cries cause he doesn't want to be alone or cause his dad plays with him or cause he doesn't want to ride in the stroller or cause he doesn't wanna walk or cause he'll see me making his food and isn't able to get it yet because it's hot...He just cries! And Lord forbid we say anything to him when he's in the crying mood cause then he'll be in the screaming and making weird ass faces mood or he'll hit us with an okay. But this okay is the girly-est okay you've ever heard from a boy, it lingers...For example, we'll tell him to do something like put his pajamas on and he'll move slow as hell, put his thumb in his mouth and then stare at us, like he forgot what we just told him to do, then when we repeat the direction to him, he'll say, "Ohh-kaayy!! What the hell is that? I mean, this dude sounds like the nigga from school dance...Ohh-kaayy! But you gotta love him.
Then there's Jhayanna, whose in a class all by herself and she gets there riding a short bus with two seats, the drivers seat and hers. Can you say mood disorder? This little five year, fifty year old cries at everything and she's the biggest bully, in the house, at school and outside. This girl starts her day off crying, she wakes up and it's sunny - she cries, it's raining - she cries, she's sad - she cries, she's happy - she cries, she farts - she cries, we ask her how school was today or what's wrong, hell we ask he any damn thing and wait for it....SHE CRIES!
Moving on to Imonne (Imani), this girl can be so blank at times, sort of like a dial tone or when someone dies at the hospital and they flat line - that's what she puts us through at homework time. Other times, she can't help but be weird or make weird faces...One day I watched this girl run to the chair but before she sat down, she broke out in some robotic, stiff neck movement like she had to auto program sitting down, then when she took her seat and realized I had be watching her, she quickly said, "what?" With this big ol' smile on her face, showing nothing but gums cause she grinds her teeth so much, that she literally has to open wide, just for you to notice she actually has teeth in there.
She is so energetic too, our very own energizer bunny, that one. Actually, the next time I have some almost dead batteries, I think I'll give them to her and have her rub them together while doing her favorite activity...running! That girl can go. One day she literally woke up and ran around the house for everything, it didn't matter if she was using the bathroom - her legs would be moving while sitting down on the toilet. If she was cleaning her room - she'd run, Imonne can't even sit still long enough to watch t.v.
She's so nosy too, she has to know everything your doing before, during and after you do it, so to watch a new movie with her is so annoying cause she'll ask all those questions about the characters in there. Then if we tell her to be quite, her face drops to her toe nails and...flat line! Like we took her heart out of her chest cavity, did the heel-toe on it and then blew it up! Her feelings would be hurt for all of two seconds until, you've guessed it, she's back up bopping around.
Yeah she's a weird one too. The weekends are like a game show in her mind cause she doesn't play twenty-one questions, it's more like forty-eight. She'll have a new question every minute of the entire day...Her favorite question is, "Do we have school in the morning?" She will ask that question like Nelly, over and over again, even if their own break! It all starts on the last day of the school week, as soon as her dad picks her up, "Dad, do we have school in the morning?" As if she didn't already know that it was Friday, so the answer was no.
But over all, through all the weird craziness, those kids are all kinds of caring and compassionate. They can be bad but each one of them have qualities that couldn't be bought, just taught over time and honestly I wouldn't trade them for the world. Having them is like having my own special deluxe pizza and I love everything about them. 
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