Full of Shititis

Ah while back I wrote this; "First I was sick of being sick, then I was tired being tired, now I'm sick and tired with a headache on top! shaking my head when will someone make ah cure for FULL OF SHITITIS? someone please hit me up when they do, I'm good for it!" on my Facebook page well people I found it, the book entitled "The Cure" written by one of my favorite authors today, Brittany Anthony. So I began to read this book on the cure for full of shititis and it read...

" don't continue to feed the people with the disease bullshit, it will only indulge their craving        thus allow them to remain hindered in their illness and you will forever be entitled to enable the person with such disease. Instead feed them full of knowledge, this will leave them not only speechless but also absent minded to the fact that they are sick. Absent minded because they will be so focused on the fact that you've just proven them to be tediously dull to the point that they're now grasping at ah chance to be different, forgetting that they have been full of shit their entire life." 

   Now, to those of you dealing with this type of person in your lives right now, don't be mad at them for being this way...it's ah disease! be mad at you for not taking the time to educate yourself on such ah powerful yet easy to cure disease in the first place! I believe that we have ah choice about everyone who enter's into our lives and that choice is weather or not they stay in it long enough to obtain ah good relationship with us or not. But it is the people suffering from shititis that makes our choice harder than it needs to be, I feel like some of the people who enter into my life should come with an expiration date just like food, and on that expired date I can take them out of my life as you would ah stale bag of chips because really, what do you need with ah stale bag of chips in your life? At least with day old bread you can make it into great things such as; french toast or croutons for ah nice salad or something, but what can you do with old chips? Nothing! Then you have days in your life were you would enjoy the company of others for ah long period or time, much like can goods, which still have some form of an expiration date...and when that person is no longer enjoyable, you can get rid of them like you would that old can good. The point is, you should know that you always have ah choice to have full of shititis people in or out of your life and if your not aware of that...then hey, guess what? You've just learned something new today!

CHRIHANNA

   Chris Brown & Rihanna... Yes guys, I'm bringing it up! Let me first start off by saying, "I do not have ah problem nor do I hate either Chris or Rihanna, I do how ever feel entitled to my own opinion on the matter and I've decided to voice that opinion today - That is why you read my blog anyway right? Now, I have been ah Chris Brown fan since the very first time I heard; Ya Man Ain't me, Young Love and Winner, just to name ah few. So I will remain that way, that's what true fans do... I have also been ah slight Rihanna fan for songs like; Pon da Replay and SOS, so please don't think of me as one of those people who are totally for or against either of the two...
   Now that, that's out of the way, I wanna be honest with you about them being together. In typical fan mode I was against Chris Brown being with her in the first place solely because, like any other fan of his back in high school when he first came out, In my mind I was gone meet him and we were going to date...and to those of you reading this right now, DON'T JUDGE ME! I mean I was even mad about him dying in the first movie he was ever put in, it went that hard for me!
   Any who getting back to the subject, the further the relationship went the more it just started to sound suspect - I mean we never really saw there relationship up close and the pictures of them being spotted together didn't suggest anything wrong but the rumors as well as the music did. There were even rumors about Rihanna and Jay-Z having some type of relationship/affair with one another and the music she made, made me think she was, in ah word, "Crazy." Then You'd see/hear about Chris Brown and he just had that innocent good boy quality about him and his music just verified the thoughts, I mean the worst thing about his music was the fact that as he grew he did what most men do, which was sing songs about getting it in! And really what's the harm in that?...In my opinion the harm came when their lives began to change in the public eye, basically as they became more famous, they seemed to become more blinded at the fact that not just there careers should have grown, but they should have grown as well, and why not? I mean when someone at age eighteen is making music such as "Take you down," we could only hope that the person is on their way to maturity and the same could be said for Rihanna as well, I mean anyone putting music out such as "Unfaithful," and " Disturbia," should not only find their way to maturity but to ah mental clinic as well, just saying. Then the shock happen, The shock that turned heads for both their fans. Chris Brown has just physically assaulted Rihanna, WTF! I mean are you serious? I think everyone at that time had questions about what really happen and definitely wanted to know more about the assault. Well I did and now I do so I'm going to share what I know as well as my opinions' because I can't keep my mouth closed when these crazies have just gotten back together. 
 Sources say, "It's despicable. They're blaming the victim. She's not the one prone to that kind of behavior...He's the one who's steppin' out." My question is, she not prone to what kind of behavior? the kind where she's talking about killing someone or herself, "Man Down, Unfaithful, G4L...The kind where she's blacking-out and going crazy,"Disturvia"...Better yet the kind that gets retraining orders out on the person who beat her ass and then goes to basketball games with them, And then to say, "she's not prone," so does that imply that he is? If so, whatever could have happen before this incident...Maybe it was the fact that he was making music about incidents in past relationships where he's cheated, "Damage"...Maybe it was the fact that he was trying to get over/trying to forget about someone he loved and that he hurt physically and mentally, "Deuces"...Better yet, I got it, maybe it was the fact that he had a chance to think about somethings and wanted to try and mend their relationship, "Crawl," Okay your right he's definitely prone to that kind of behavior! And who's to say that she didn't do any steppin' out of her own throughout the relationship? Me or you "sources." When it comes down to the fact of people blaming Rihanna, I can't speak for everyone but I can speak for me and I like to think of all sides of every story and I just don't believe everyone did that in their case - I mean Chris Brown is definitely wrong for putting his hands on her at all, but is she not to be accountable for her faults in the incident as well? If not, it's because of that, that some people may feel as though she's not so much of a victim. In Rihanna's own words she said, "The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other, equally dangerous, because it was a bit of an obsession." I think anyone who makes ah statement such as that one, has to have ah few skeletons in their closet in matters of what happen in their relationship...

Rihanna even stated, "I don't hate him at all, I actually love and care about him. I want him to do well, have a great career, have a great life and grow up. And just take this as something you had to go through to grow up and learn." In that moment she was no longer speaking with the person interviewing her, she was speaking directly to Chris and I say that because who really says something like, what I underlined, and means it as ah life lesson?
   Now on to the actual assault, as you finish reading, keep this in mind...Rihanna stated that she had broken up with him before the incident but says this after, "Love doesn't go away right away. He didn't accept that very well. Obviously he didn't want us to be apart. But I had to make a decision for me." The fight started when Chris Brown received a text message from another women while "they" were driving, I put quotations over the word they because I had ah question after reading that...My question is, How, if she had not checked his phone either before or after he did, did she know that the text message came from another women? Did she ask? In my personal opinion, I'm gonna say she checked that phone, and in natural/typical girl friend mode went HAM over what she saw/read...Rihanna then states, "I couldn't take that he kept lying to me, and he couldn't take that I wouldn't drop it...It escalated into "him" being violent towards me. And it was ugly."

Cops responding to a 911 call found her with a split lid and contusions on either side of her forehead...
Actual Police Report: "The victim said she became enraged (after seeing the text message)  and slammed both of her fists against the dashboard on the passenger side of the car they were in. The defendant then pulled the vehicle over and reached over her with his right hand. He opened the car door and tried to force (shove) the victim out." 
"When he could not force her to exit (due to victim wearing a seat belt), he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving. As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. This was the first assault after which Rihanna told cops, "I looked in the mirror and saw my eye beginning to swell, she also stated that Chris said, "I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! you wait and see! I tried to call my personal assistant but she didn't pick up (why would she call her personal assistant instead of the police after the first assault raising an eyebrow for me at least) so I pretended to talk to her saying I'm on my way home make sure the cops are there when I get there. Rihanna tells cops, "I pulled the act because I didn't want to get beat anymore," Which raises another eyebrow for me because If you were going to "pull an act" to keep from getting beat, why not pretend to/ actually call the cops? 
"The victim stated that after the fake phone conversation the defendant stated you just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I'm really going to kill you! The defendant then began a second assault during which time the victim interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She bent at the waist placing her elbows and her face near her lap in order to protect herself from the barrage of punches. The defendant continued to punch the victim on her left arm, which caused her to suffer a contusion on her left tricep. When the defendant stopped hitting her the victim again picked up her cell phone and tried to send a text message to another assistant, the defendant snatched the cell phone out of her hand and threw it out the window of the car onto the street. He then stopped the vehicle (why did he stop the car if he was the one still in control?), the victim opened the passenger door and tried to exit in order to get her cell phone back (why would she try to exit just to get her phone, why not exit to get away from the man abusing her) before she could get out the defendant sped off, causing the door to close.
As the defendant was driving the victim saw his cell phone sitting in his lap, she took the cell phone with her left hand and tried to make a call. Before she could, the defendant placed the victims head in headlock while he continued to drive. He pulled the victim close and bit her on her left ear (didn't know Chris Brown was Mike Tyson but alright), the victim told police she could feel the victim (did Ri-Ri just have ah slip in the story!) swerving from left to right as the defendant was speeding away. The defendant stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June St. (a local residence) and the victim was able to remove the keys, she sat on the keys. The defendant did not know what the victim did with the keys (question, if he knew when she took the phone off his lap, in what direction was his head for him to not see/know where she put the keys?) and started punching her again in the face and arms. He placed her in a headlock, positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm, he then started applying pressure to her carotid artery, which made her unable to breathe she told police she started to loose consciousness she reached up with her left hand and started gouging at the defendant's face and eyes (how she was able to do that with her basically almost passing out I'll never know) in order to free herself, the defendant bit the victims left ring and middle fingers and then released her. The victim told police she then took off her shoe and tried to break the passenger window. The defendant continued to punch her and she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door, she brought her knees to her chest and placed her feet against the defendant's body to push away from him ( Now if your reading the report instead of scheming through it, you know that Rihanna told police that she took the keys and sat on them, so wouldn't Chris Brown have been able to retrieve the keys once she turned around to put her feet on him in order to push away?) The defendant punched the victim on her legs and feet causing several contusions, the defendant then ceased his assault and the victim opened the passenger door and started screaming for help. The defendant exited from his side of the car and walked around to the passenger side and force the door shut. The victim again opened the door and continued screaming. The defendant looked for the keys outside the vehicle when he could not find them he removed several compact discs that were inside the car and walked away.
   When Rihanna was later interviewed she said, "All I kept thinking was, when is it going to stop? When is it going to stop? He had no soul in his eyes just blank. He was clearly blacked-out. There was no person when I looked at him." Ah few things I have to say about that statement is, if that's what you honestly felt and saw from the man you loved so much...I mean if he was unrecognizable to that extent, why not get out of the vehicle before it got that bad? I mean it was you Rihanna, that stated to the police that before it got physical he pulled over and tried to force you out the car, yeah his approach was physical but again if he wasn't recognizable at that moment you should have gotten out of the car regardless. Even though I do blame your actions I in no way condone what Chris Brown has done either, what I am saying is that I believe that everyone should at some point own their own faults in their life and I just don't think you Rihanna, did that in that situation - Say what you will readers but through the research I did today and finding out more to the story (without Chris Brown's side of course) I do think there were definitely other events that lead to him blacking-out the way that he did that night. I mean lets retract for ah minute...This entire incident started over ah text message that you shouldn't have even seen in the first place, so your first fault in my opinion was being nosy, I mean there's ah time and ah place for everything and that is true where Chris Brown is concerned as well because he has the power to pick and choose his battles and side note - relationship 101 Chris fighting women is never okay in any case. I still feel as though if he is going to be penalized for beating you, you should be penalized for hitting him as well, and yes people I know he is ah man and can clearly over power her but he was behind the wheel of ah vehicle...so how do we know that everything he did to her that night wasn't in self defense? That said how do we know everything that allegedly happen that night actually happen? I only ask because Chris Brown supposedly did all of these things to her while driving, i'd think that it would be extremely difficult  to put someone in ah serious (lose of consciousness) headlock while driving among other things, like pulling her close enough to bite her on her left ear hard enough to break skin or even bruise it - THE POINT IS, wouldn't her head be in the way of him actually driving, like in motion, just saying! Before this starts to seem as though I don't find anything wrong with what happen or like I am pro-beating women...All I am getting at is, they were both wrong in that situation and so was the media for not paying enough attention to that fact, if you were going to punish one I feel you should punish the other too mainly because again THEY WERE BOTH IN THE WRONG!

   Do I feel like they should be together now? Hell no because there poison together apparently neither of them have any sense when there together...actually that's partly true Rihanna seems to always rise to the top of any situation while Chris Brown has just became ah fallen angel his self, WTF! Chris Brown, do you not want to have ah career anymore? Because all of this acting out and yes I said acting out, cause that's what I say when my kids have tantrums and that's what I think you've been having every since you've gotten back with Rihanna. Really it doesn't matter if you have all the money in the world Chris Brown at the end of the day what truly matters is, if when you look up you know you didn't come all this way and accomplish so much to have it be for nothing and to really have Nothing but money! What your doing and have previously done is just, in ah word, stupid! I mean seriously do you not realize that just ah few years ago you were pretty much ah nobody and where was Rihanna then? And Rihanna, girl you just did all of this shit to Chris Brown, getting retraining orders and almost ruining his career saying you were so scared and feared for your life but it doesn't seem as though you were that scared when it was you who broke the arrangements of said order to be with/around the man who beat your ass and scared you oh so bad and wow, when it looks as though he has finally moved on you want him back completely - and you still claim that, that is Chris Browns' fault! saying, "well Chris is in the wrong for pursuing me while he was in a relationship,"Do you not understand that if you kept the retraining order in play he wouldn't have been around you at all! that was your choice not his, that just makes no sense at all to me. The reality is that you Rihanna, in one way or another enjoy the drama that both you and Chris Brown are creating and the question I have for you is, how many times are you going to cry wolf before no one comes to your rescue? At some point enough has just got to be enough.

   Here's what I predict...
Rihanna,"I'm bout to take some of this food Chris"
Chris Brown, "What, I asked you if you wanted some when we were getting the food"
Rihanna, "Don't go crazy it's just ah pinch of it"
Chris Brown,"Why do I have to be crazy because I didn't want to share my food? that's the problem in this relationship"
Rihanna, "No the problem is that you don't act like your in ah relationship with me, are you fucking this food?
Chris Brown, "LoL what?
Rihanna, "What nothing Chris, why can't you answer the question?
Chris Brown,"Cause it's ah stupid question"
Rihanna, "Now I'm stupid?
Chris Brown, "What man no...just get in the car"
Rihanna,"Now i'm ah man? And don't tell me what to do Chris, I will G4L your ass"
Chris Brown, "This shit here man I can't deal wit, I can't believe you going there"
Rihanna, "Cause I don't know why you won't tell me if you fucking your food or not! Your going to make me get my vaseline "

Chris Brown, "Ri fuck your vaseline, I got shit too"
Rihanna, "Well you know how it's gone go down so I hope your ready to go through that again!"
Chris Brown, "I hate that I'm so stuck on stupid for you Ri"
Rihanna, "You hate it, but I love that your so stupid in love for me ha ha"

   The scene will play out just like it did above and Jay-Z will get mad and they'll eventually get back together, but only after she files a retraining order because she fears for her life and Chris Brown will cry and leave ah snot trail from his fingers to his shoulders on the BET awards and it just is what it is and they'll be spotted some where in the world representing their love saying, "Fuck every body at least were together!

DEAD Awake

His hair is dark, like the night sky

I see his spirit within his eyes, it smiles so bright whenever he looks at me

I can't believe his skin is so smooth and brown, with the smell of ah fresh summer breeze

You know that scent at the very beginning of morning, that reminds you that not everyone in the world is so bad

That scent that makes you melt with goosebumps over your entire body

Oh, how I sometimes wish that I could wrap my soul within his and lay under his warm shoulders throughout my days 

Without a single care in the world but then, there are days...

Days where my tears drop like rain when I think of him

Days where the clouds follow me around, like a song being replayed over and over again in my head

There are times when even his words saying, "I love you", cut like knives piercing through my heart right into my soul

You know those days where it feels as though time has stopped and then you blink reminders of every letter in his name 

Though it doesn't spell out what you may think of, only pain and you sit there...

Wondering, if it's the same song playing in his heart as it is in yours 

Those days, where you see him and you go to open your mouth to speak but 

only sounds of mimes come out to entertain you love, as if you were doing it for tips 

Hoping that one day it would just return to that same summer breeze you once felt 

You know, that one that filled your body with goosebumps, huh

Praying to our savor to save you and get you to the finish line and then...

Waking up to realize that you were already there the entire time just passed out from running

Dead Awake!