Its dark but not so dark that I can not see light of day but dark enough to make me drift into a deep sleep.
It's warm but not so warm that I will sweat from a sea of heat but enough to make me comfortable and safe.
I'm alone but not so alone that I am lonely but enough to allow me time to think.
I've cried in silence but somehow I know I've been heard.
My head is full but I'm not sure of what yet, It might be knowledge but if so, why do I feel as ignorant as the moon?
My eyes are wide open but some how slammed shut with a feeling of being sewed closed in the mist of me still trying to see.
My ears pick up the sound of a stranger but he is indistant of me although it sounds as though he maybe getting closer.
I'm yelling in a room that should echo but instead there is no sound.
My arms are running steal as though movement has escaped me, while my legs are as rapid as ever but haven't made it to their destination.
My bones have gone numb but still solid enough to be hard as rocks, though tough as armor.
I've swam deep, long and far in my blood and yet somehow I don't believe I'm in my own body anymore, I feel as though I've traveled to your and am now sinking in your heart.
I'm drowning in a tube now, full of shallow trust.
I'm paralyzed from all the the love I get from you, It's almost as if that was your plan all along.
Our eyes melted with so much passion at our first introduction, that we would have done anything for one another or I for you.
That place called misery, I've met you there on so many timeless occasions though we've not occupied this space for a while since.
Longing for you to notice my vulnerable, sensitive side and let loose with me.
Needing you to dive in with both feet and maybe two arms already.
Please! Close thyn eyes and see what you've done to me.
Close thyn mouth and utter the words - adore.
I'm standing here floating, watching you lie on your knees, bleeding the truth from your chest to which I had to stab you to obtain.
Feel me with your senses and I'll let your words taste me in truth.
Then we'll dance on a vanished stage together, see life together finally with four eyes open.
Live together as if we're our very own Bonnie and Romeo.
Lets sink together in this river of darkness we've created letting stars be our light as we take pictures of our prayers of a longevity life together as one.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Childhood Before Time
Micheal Jackson said it best, do you remember the time? It starts with being born into this small, innocent, somewhat foreign little creature, that no-one can keep their hands off of. Then somewhere between the ages thirteen and sixteen, it happens, we as children start yearning to become an adult. Why? For the ability to do what we want! Say what we want! Have what we want and for some...To be on our own! What's not explained, rather what goes unheard to those who really want this ability, is that becoming an adult is not without strings attached! You'll have to get a job - work for the right to do, say, have, and be on your own. Okay, I'll be the first to say it, that part is the strings, it's also the hard part and among other things it's the part that SUCKS because, after you get the job, which you'll have to bust your ass to get! You're tired - to tired to do all that shit you wanted to do once you got to this stage in your life. If you add your own child or children into the equation, you'll be between the ages thirty-five and forty-five before you get a chance to really be an adult, with all the perks! Of course this part isn't intended for those of you without children! So lets, for a moment, go back - back to the days where you had nap time and the only job you had was those dumb ass chores, homework and to go outside to play. Everyone has heard their guardian, of some sort, say this, "Go outside and don;t come back until the street lights come on." On a school night, that was our time to catch up and recap the school day we had just endured with our friends over a game of curb ball, double dutch, tag/ hide and seek or hand games...Y'all remember this train goes, Miss Marry Mack, and shame shame shame! In the summer though, "don't come back til the street lights come on,"was code for...It's about to go down! We woke up at the butt crack, to get the day started. Broke out the bikes, the swim suits, water guns or balloons and you made sure you called all your friends to meet up with you at "the spot" (the play ground), only after asking somebody for some money to be able to attack the store or the ice cream truck when it jiggled down the block! The outside was our club/bar scene back then and even when those street lights cut on, as long as you were home on time, we had porch nights! listening to the radio, talking to your cousins, siblings or whoever was over your house. Riffin' on one another, trying to rap/sing and being just a little too loud, so you could let your mom, dad, whoever, know just how much fun you were having outside while trying to cuss on the low, over some, little kid - childish b.s hoping no one inside heard you and no one outside got mad enough to yell, "AWE!" triggering a reaction from the parents that would make everyone have to come in. Yeah summer was the time to let your hair down or put your weave in and take trips to...WYANDOTTELAKE! Y'all remember the wave pool and cunnoci creek! Getting pissed cause there were times you thought you were going, only to find out you'll have to wait til next year. Which brings me back to the now, when you've finally got what you want, your an adult but you pretty much have to schedule time to kick it with your friends and family. Looking at your kids enjoy their "street light" days and "porch night" nights, listening to them have conversations with their friends about being grown cause mom and dad is getting on their nerves, never letting them do things they want to do. Complaining about them having to clean their room, do homework and the entire time your watching them you're laughing on the inside, while thinking, "I remember that." Sitting them down trying to explain to them the joy of being a child, asking them to stay in a child's place, just as your -parents did to you and then you, for a split second stop and say to yourself, "where did the time go?" The truth is we rushed our time, longing for something that would happen eventually, hoping to get to the place your at right now and for what? Oh yeah I remember...That wonderful capability to do and say what you want while having your own without having to ask for any ones permission but your own and that makes being an adult worth it!
Final Words To Dontae
I guess it's time to lay you to rest, just put it to bed
I guess you wound up creating your own pool huh?
To which you continuously poured your sorrows into
With so many cries out, you would've had to shed many tears huh dude!
I guess you ended up taking a dive in it huh?
To which all the luggage you were carrying finally out weighed you dude
I guess we didn't realize how much you were suffering
Or how it over powered you dude
I guess the question you had on your mind was...where did we go?
The family you had just vanished on you dude
I guess it's pointless now, to wonder about the what ifs huh?
I guess if you had done that you wouldn't be missed!
I guess just caring for you now has made us all a bit crazy, to say the least
The sad thing is that, had we'd known what you'd eventually do...
I don't think the outcome for many of us would be any different dude!
I guess it's just like Wayne said, " whats misunderstood doesn't have to be explained."
This family has been beaten down cous'
I guess you noticed that huh?
It's sad for you to have come to this realization cous'
I guess you couldn't face it or maybe just couldn't handle it anymore
It's sad to not have a chance to see you dude
To talk to you!
To listen to you!
You were always missed by many and continuously loved by most cous'
I guess you got tired of waiting for our mimes to actually speak and say the words to you huh?
Yeah that happens sometimes
So I guess I don't really blame you dude
It's sad to not have had super powers to have heard you cous'
I wish there had been more time to tell you face to face what you needed to hear
We all love you Tae and we wish you were here!
I guess it's really time for us to lay you to rest now, just put you to bed...
What's done is done and all that needed to be said, has been said!
I guess you wound up creating your own pool huh?
To which you continuously poured your sorrows into
With so many cries out, you would've had to shed many tears huh dude!
I guess you ended up taking a dive in it huh?
To which all the luggage you were carrying finally out weighed you dude
I guess we didn't realize how much you were suffering
Or how it over powered you dude
I guess the question you had on your mind was...where did we go?
The family you had just vanished on you dude
I guess it's pointless now, to wonder about the what ifs huh?
I guess if you had done that you wouldn't be missed!
I guess just caring for you now has made us all a bit crazy, to say the least
The sad thing is that, had we'd known what you'd eventually do...
I don't think the outcome for many of us would be any different dude!
I guess it's just like Wayne said, " whats misunderstood doesn't have to be explained."
This family has been beaten down cous'
I guess you noticed that huh?
It's sad for you to have come to this realization cous'
I guess you couldn't face it or maybe just couldn't handle it anymore
It's sad to not have a chance to see you dude
To talk to you!
To listen to you!
You were always missed by many and continuously loved by most cous'
I guess you got tired of waiting for our mimes to actually speak and say the words to you huh?
Yeah that happens sometimes
So I guess I don't really blame you dude
It's sad to not have had super powers to have heard you cous'
I wish there had been more time to tell you face to face what you needed to hear
We all love you Tae and we wish you were here!
I guess it's really time for us to lay you to rest now, just put you to bed...
What's done is done and all that needed to be said, has been said!
Friday, January 9, 2015
They Live As They Come
They come while your waiting to dream and bound you in their arms in hopes of protecting you through the night
They live to slither around you as you lye dormant through the night
They come to relieve pain, stress and panic throughout your day
They live to toast your fears as they trickle down your face
They come to guard your spiritual being while you rest your physical body
They live to party while you suffer from mental, spiritual and physical pain
They come to extend a chalice to those whose cup has run over
They live to keep shackles on the ones who've stepped into the bad side
They come to dance on the sun to protect the heavenly gates
Their decrepit bodies live to dance, with excitement, at the death of our departed loved ones
They come while you morn to place a gentile kiss on your cheek and a quite whisper in your ear
They live for the serenade of your sorrowful screams
They come to place halos on the ones who've lived a life of fellowship
They live in anticipation in hopes of feeding off your inevitable demise
They will come to complete the destruction of you when they think you are beaten and broken down, the demons will always come for you!
They will always live to uplift and create a better you when you feel as though all is lost and you can't go on, the angels will always live for you!
They live to slither around you as you lye dormant through the night
They come to relieve pain, stress and panic throughout your day
They live to toast your fears as they trickle down your face
They come to guard your spiritual being while you rest your physical body
They live to party while you suffer from mental, spiritual and physical pain
They come to extend a chalice to those whose cup has run over
They live to keep shackles on the ones who've stepped into the bad side
They come to dance on the sun to protect the heavenly gates
Their decrepit bodies live to dance, with excitement, at the death of our departed loved ones
They come while you morn to place a gentile kiss on your cheek and a quite whisper in your ear
They live for the serenade of your sorrowful screams
They come to place halos on the ones who've lived a life of fellowship
They live in anticipation in hopes of feeding off your inevitable demise
They will come to complete the destruction of you when they think you are beaten and broken down, the demons will always come for you!
They will always live to uplift and create a better you when you feel as though all is lost and you can't go on, the angels will always live for you!
She Is...
She Is...
Ambitious, artistic, annoying but only towards loved ones and apologetic, when necessary.
Bipolar on occasion! Brave, when she has to be, beautiful, bold, bossy and black.
Emotional, when she cares for you, empathetic towards everyone, enthusiastic, energetic, when motivated and easy-going when she is relaxed.
Happy, honorable, honest, hot-headed, for good reason and can be a hard-ass, if for no other reason but to make you tough!
Interesting, imaginative, intelligent and quit intuitive.
Kind-hearted and has a kindred spirit to her friends.
Naughty, when it matters, neat and nurturing to her family.
Outstanding, always observant and sometimes old-school.
Radiant, in the eyes of her husband, respectful of others, responsible, real, rugite and a bit reluctant at times.
Seductive, when the mood is right! Sweet, sympathetic to peoples problems, sincere, spiritual, soulful and very strong.
Trustworthy, talented, thoughtful and talkative, more so when she gets intoxicated!
Youthful through it all because while she maybe; Annoying, Bipolar, Emotional, Hot-headed, Kind-hearted, Naughty, Observant, Real, Strong, Talkative and have and old soul...These are only words, they don't define her! She is just a person, with a big heart, in a young body, who knows exactly where she is going and acts her age while still never loosing sight of who?
Ambitious, artistic, annoying but only towards loved ones and apologetic, when necessary.
Bipolar on occasion! Brave, when she has to be, beautiful, bold, bossy and black.
Emotional, when she cares for you, empathetic towards everyone, enthusiastic, energetic, when motivated and easy-going when she is relaxed.
Happy, honorable, honest, hot-headed, for good reason and can be a hard-ass, if for no other reason but to make you tough!
Interesting, imaginative, intelligent and quit intuitive.
Kind-hearted and has a kindred spirit to her friends.
Naughty, when it matters, neat and nurturing to her family.
Outstanding, always observant and sometimes old-school.
Radiant, in the eyes of her husband, respectful of others, responsible, real, rugite and a bit reluctant at times.
Seductive, when the mood is right! Sweet, sympathetic to peoples problems, sincere, spiritual, soulful and very strong.
Trustworthy, talented, thoughtful and talkative, more so when she gets intoxicated!
Youthful through it all because while she maybe; Annoying, Bipolar, Emotional, Hot-headed, Kind-hearted, Naughty, Observant, Real, Strong, Talkative and have and old soul...These are only words, they don't define her! She is just a person, with a big heart, in a young body, who knows exactly where she is going and acts her age while still never loosing sight of who?
SHE IS...
Brittany - Shontae - Brooks
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
See No...Hear No...Speak ? Part III
Oh yeah there had to be ah part three...I wouldn't dare forget about my young women out there! Why in the hell are so many of you in ah rush to grow up? Do y'all not see yawls older sisters', cousins, aunties, even MOTHERS? Come the fuck on! Now ah days y'all have been out here doing way to much at such ah young age and I so badly want to yell at yawls mothers but the fact is when you became old enough to talk smart, curse, drink, smoke and have SEX!! You became old enough to get your ass beat, get kicked out, and take responsibility for your faults...Which means, once you have ah child, YOU are no longer one your self! I'mma repeat that for those of you who would like to forget that I just said it....ONCE YOU HAVE AH CHILD, UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER ONE YOUR SELF!
I'm am so tired of shows such as, TEEN MOM and so called role models like, NICKI MINAJ UGH REALLY! Come on people, first off there's obviously something in the water any way, that's allowing these young girls to have such big breast and gluts, that now there are eleven year old's out her looking all of sixteen and these sixteen year old's are looking all of twenty-one, it ridiculous! What's worse is that most of you adults are okay with letting these KIDS get by on the shit y'all can control; Clothing (what they wear), music (what they listen to) and television (what they're watching). I actually have ah question for all of you...Do/did any of you have ah grandmother, na'na, big momma, hell even ah madea? What about ah mom! That statement is given to the young mothers out here.
I asked that question because I really wanna know if any of you were raised the way your children are being raised now? Okay, I'll ask that same question again but in ah different way, for those of you who didn't catch it!...When y'all were growing up, were y'all able to do most of the shit yawls children, sisters, cousins or nieces are doing now? My guess is that more than seventy percent of y'all were not! So my follow up question is, why not teach your children the right way of making mistakes if they must make them? Basically, what I am saying to y'all it this...Look at your selves clearly and not through ah fogged glass, did the way yawls parents raised y'all really fuck y'all up so bad? If the answer is NO, then why not take some of what yawls parents taught y'all and teach it to your children! Do they not deserve that? What kills me is that most of you are walking around trying to get people to feel sympathy for y'all because yawls children are horrible, possible TEEN MINAJ MOMS, using drugs and telling y'all to go fuck your selves because they know y'all won't do shit to them...So what do y'all do? Drink, snort, smoke or throw yawls hands up by just not paying attention to them! Now before I get so pissed that I begin to ramble on, let me just leave you readers with this...
Realize that we (WOMEN) are what keeps the cycle of the world repeating. It is our job to; raise, nurture, teach and reproduce the children of this world, so when we fall short on our job as WOMEN, we're not just falling short on that job but that of which makes us MOTHERS in the first place and when that happens, we fuck up the process at the starting gate, which basically means we're not giving our children any hope of making it to the finish line. So my biggest question in this entire post is, How can we expect our young men and women, especially the African American ones, to grow up and progress if we can't provide them with the most basic needs to guide them along the way? #MILEY CYRUS!
I'm am so tired of shows such as, TEEN MOM and so called role models like, NICKI MINAJ UGH REALLY! Come on people, first off there's obviously something in the water any way, that's allowing these young girls to have such big breast and gluts, that now there are eleven year old's out her looking all of sixteen and these sixteen year old's are looking all of twenty-one, it ridiculous! What's worse is that most of you adults are okay with letting these KIDS get by on the shit y'all can control; Clothing (what they wear), music (what they listen to) and television (what they're watching). I actually have ah question for all of you...Do/did any of you have ah grandmother, na'na, big momma, hell even ah madea? What about ah mom! That statement is given to the young mothers out here.
I asked that question because I really wanna know if any of you were raised the way your children are being raised now? Okay, I'll ask that same question again but in ah different way, for those of you who didn't catch it!...When y'all were growing up, were y'all able to do most of the shit yawls children, sisters, cousins or nieces are doing now? My guess is that more than seventy percent of y'all were not! So my follow up question is, why not teach your children the right way of making mistakes if they must make them? Basically, what I am saying to y'all it this...Look at your selves clearly and not through ah fogged glass, did the way yawls parents raised y'all really fuck y'all up so bad? If the answer is NO, then why not take some of what yawls parents taught y'all and teach it to your children! Do they not deserve that? What kills me is that most of you are walking around trying to get people to feel sympathy for y'all because yawls children are horrible, possible TEEN MINAJ MOMS, using drugs and telling y'all to go fuck your selves because they know y'all won't do shit to them...So what do y'all do? Drink, snort, smoke or throw yawls hands up by just not paying attention to them! Now before I get so pissed that I begin to ramble on, let me just leave you readers with this...
Realize that we (WOMEN) are what keeps the cycle of the world repeating. It is our job to; raise, nurture, teach and reproduce the children of this world, so when we fall short on our job as WOMEN, we're not just falling short on that job but that of which makes us MOTHERS in the first place and when that happens, we fuck up the process at the starting gate, which basically means we're not giving our children any hope of making it to the finish line. So my biggest question in this entire post is, How can we expect our young men and women, especially the African American ones, to grow up and progress if we can't provide them with the most basic needs to guide them along the way? #MILEY CYRUS!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
See No...Hear No...Speak ? Part II
I wonder how many of you are really enraged about what happen to Treyvon Martin! The shit is crazy and yeah / so the fuck what, so many of you have reposted pictures of him and made comments about the issue. I wonder how many of you have children? Actually how many of you have young boys? Do y'all not realize that those young boys will grow into young men that will eventually become grown ass men (if they make it that far!) Now how many of you don't have children but have young male cousins, nephews' or brothers? Take ah moment and just picture Treyvon as your child, your brother, you cousin or your nephew...
Picture him leaving to go chill with his girlfriend; maybe they got high, watched some t.v and then got it in (lol that's usually how young people kick it). Now he's ready to go home, so he probably kisses his girl good night, walks home and in the middle of that walk he has ah high moment and gets hungry...stops at ah store grabs something to quick to munch on and something to wash it down, then continues his walk. He's probable high, alone and ah little lost so he calls his girl just to see if she's up and realizes he's being followed panics, puts his snacks inside his hoodie and takes off running...From there if any of you followed the story, y'all know what happened!
My thing is this, who the fuck cares what he was doing before he got shot down! I would like to know why he got shot down in the first place! I mean I actually want the truth (Its never going to happen) but that's what I want because George Zimmerman or anyone else for that matter, could never tell me that he believed Treyvon was ah threat, Nor could anyone including Zimmerman say, "well he came after me and I had to defend myself"...That boy was not armed, unless skittles and watermelon flavored Arizona juice are weapons, I mean really! come the fuck on. Then for the police to have told Zimmerman during the 911 call, not to chase after him and he did it anyway, He should have been locked up just for that off rip! Not to mention, during that call Zimmerman may have (which I believe after listening to it myself, that he did) said ah racial remark about Treyvon and on ah second call to 911 you hear someone (Treyvon) yelling out for help ah good four to five times then right after the last time you hear ah gun shot...You tell me NO BULLSHIT! what I'm suppose to think?
Think people...If Zimmerman has ah weapon on him, why in the hell would it be him calling out for help? Wouldn't it make more sense for the person yelling to have been Treyvon? So I ask you two things...One, why in the hell is Zimmerman not in jail for murder? Two, what would you do if this was your cousin, nephew, brother or SON? I capitalized the word son because although my son is only one years old, he is still going to grow up and become ah man someday and what if Treyvon was my Alijah?
My point is this, NO I don't intend for every African American in the world to stop their lives because one little boy lost his life. But DO SOMETHING MORE THAN AH POST OF AH PICTURE, THE TYPE OF AH STATEMENT, GIVING AN APOLOGY OR TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK ( WHICH IS BASICALLY AH FUCK YOU BTW!!) Because the reality of the situation is, although your world didn't stop, Treyvons' did...His family's did and most importantly his MOTHER'S DID! An African American Women who lost her son due to ah racial ( I don't care who wants to believe that it wasn't racial because it was) problem that still exists in the world today and we as African Americans especially us who have children have to become more aware as well as knowledgeable of the issues around us in order to educate our African American children especially the MEN! Because we are loosing more and more of them every day. In fact I live on the north side of town, right across the street from an elementary school and ah young man (SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD!) got shot and killed right in the front of my house...I have three babies who were outside that day but through the grace of God and the fact that my husband brought them into the house to play while he exercised just five minutes before the shooting began! What if he didn't come in to exercise that day? What if he took them him just one second to late? Just what if? There wouldn't have been ah damn thing I would have been able to do if either my children or my husband would have gotten hit by just one of those bullets, all because If we're not out here killing each other (BLACK ON BLACK) we're getting killed (WHITE ON BLACK) and the most fucked up part is that, most of you dummies think the shit's okay! WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE, when will y'all realize that it's been about that time to SEE, HEAR & SPEAK and no one has gotten up yet!
I'm so over it at this point and I'm not quite sure of how or where to start but someone has to do something to raise awareness and get more people to understand that this has to stop in order for there to ever be PROGRESS.
Picture him leaving to go chill with his girlfriend; maybe they got high, watched some t.v and then got it in (lol that's usually how young people kick it). Now he's ready to go home, so he probably kisses his girl good night, walks home and in the middle of that walk he has ah high moment and gets hungry...stops at ah store grabs something to quick to munch on and something to wash it down, then continues his walk. He's probable high, alone and ah little lost so he calls his girl just to see if she's up and realizes he's being followed panics, puts his snacks inside his hoodie and takes off running...From there if any of you followed the story, y'all know what happened!
My thing is this, who the fuck cares what he was doing before he got shot down! I would like to know why he got shot down in the first place! I mean I actually want the truth (Its never going to happen) but that's what I want because George Zimmerman or anyone else for that matter, could never tell me that he believed Treyvon was ah threat, Nor could anyone including Zimmerman say, "well he came after me and I had to defend myself"...That boy was not armed, unless skittles and watermelon flavored Arizona juice are weapons, I mean really! come the fuck on. Then for the police to have told Zimmerman during the 911 call, not to chase after him and he did it anyway, He should have been locked up just for that off rip! Not to mention, during that call Zimmerman may have (which I believe after listening to it myself, that he did) said ah racial remark about Treyvon and on ah second call to 911 you hear someone (Treyvon) yelling out for help ah good four to five times then right after the last time you hear ah gun shot...You tell me NO BULLSHIT! what I'm suppose to think?
Think people...If Zimmerman has ah weapon on him, why in the hell would it be him calling out for help? Wouldn't it make more sense for the person yelling to have been Treyvon? So I ask you two things...One, why in the hell is Zimmerman not in jail for murder? Two, what would you do if this was your cousin, nephew, brother or SON? I capitalized the word son because although my son is only one years old, he is still going to grow up and become ah man someday and what if Treyvon was my Alijah?
My point is this, NO I don't intend for every African American in the world to stop their lives because one little boy lost his life. But DO SOMETHING MORE THAN AH POST OF AH PICTURE, THE TYPE OF AH STATEMENT, GIVING AN APOLOGY OR TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK ( WHICH IS BASICALLY AH FUCK YOU BTW!!) Because the reality of the situation is, although your world didn't stop, Treyvons' did...His family's did and most importantly his MOTHER'S DID! An African American Women who lost her son due to ah racial ( I don't care who wants to believe that it wasn't racial because it was) problem that still exists in the world today and we as African Americans especially us who have children have to become more aware as well as knowledgeable of the issues around us in order to educate our African American children especially the MEN! Because we are loosing more and more of them every day. In fact I live on the north side of town, right across the street from an elementary school and ah young man (SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD!) got shot and killed right in the front of my house...I have three babies who were outside that day but through the grace of God and the fact that my husband brought them into the house to play while he exercised just five minutes before the shooting began! What if he didn't come in to exercise that day? What if he took them him just one second to late? Just what if? There wouldn't have been ah damn thing I would have been able to do if either my children or my husband would have gotten hit by just one of those bullets, all because If we're not out here killing each other (BLACK ON BLACK) we're getting killed (WHITE ON BLACK) and the most fucked up part is that, most of you dummies think the shit's okay! WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE, when will y'all realize that it's been about that time to SEE, HEAR & SPEAK and no one has gotten up yet!
I'm so over it at this point and I'm not quite sure of how or where to start but someone has to do something to raise awareness and get more people to understand that this has to stop in order for there to ever be PROGRESS.
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